Susanna Calkins, Author
  • Home
  • Lucy Campion Mysteries
    • A Murder at Rosamund's Gate
    • From the Charred Remains
    • The Masque of a Murderer
    • A Death Along the River Fleet
    • The Sign of the Gallows
    • The Cry of the Hangman
    • Death Among the Ruins
  • The Speakeasy Murders
    • Murder Knocks Twice
    • The Fate of a Flapper
  • Short Stories
  • Blog
  • News & Events
    • Event Photos
    • Archived Guest Posts & Interviews
  • The Roaring Twenties
  • 17th c. England
  • Writing Resources
  • Nonfiction
  • New Page

Celebrating Rejection? I don't think so...

7/28/2015

10 Comments

 
Picture
A head-scratcher here...

Recently, a friend of mine lamented on Facebook that she had just received another rejection to her agent query--and was clearly getting frustrated--a state to which I could relate. I made some sort of sympathetic comment about hanging in there, that every author experiences rejection, and to keep persevering. Or maybe even start a new project and set that one aside for a while. Platitudes perhaps, but sincerely meant.

Well, I was quite surprised when other people jumped all over my comment, saying that rejection should be celebrated and that I was in the wrong for expressing sympathy. That rejection wasn't supposed to be viewed negatively.

Now, I do understand about learning from feedback, no matter how negative, but celebrating rejection seems counter-intuitive. Giving yourself permission to take risks, permission to fail--these are things I believe in too. But permission to celebrate rejection and failure, as if these are the expected end products of a writer's journey--that I can never endorse. (Unless of course one wishes to remain unpublished, than by all means, celebrate rejection.)


I thought this was an isolated incident,  until I read a piece today by author Bryan Hutchinson, who talked about being wary of the rejectionists:

"There’s a new bandwagon in the writing community, actually, it’s in nearly every community. The trend dictates that it’s okay to fail, in fact, it’s not just okay – you should expect to fail. And if you’re not careful you might jump on, tricked into not living your passion and not striving to achieve your goals."
I could not agree more.

Over the last few years I've had the good fortune of being able to spend a lot of time with other published authors--at conferences, at bookstores, or just over a drink--and one thing that still amazes me is how hard every single one of them had to work to get to where they are. I don't know a single author who doesn't have stacks of rejections and years--even decades--of toil, heartbreak, and anguish behind the image they present to the public, no matter how successful they appear now.  Striving to get an agent, striving to get a publisher, striving to get the next contract, striving to develop a readership base...its all there.

Every author I know says persistence and determination (and yes, maybe a lucky break) are crucial.  We may cope with rejection in different ways, but the common element seems to be to grit your teeth and move forward and just...keep...trying. (I'm not saying this has to be done without copious amounts of ice cream, or alcohol, or rejection letter bonfires...)


Simply speaking: There are no overnight successes. Just look at Jenny Milcham's fabulous Made it Moments blog and read through the inspirational stories there. No author's "Made it Moment" is the same, but the sense of perseverance is ever present. (Heck, check out Jenny's own story--she's incredible).
Bottom line:

Rejection, yes it happens. It's painful, it hurts, its part of a writer's journey. LEARNING FROM REJECTION (or FAILURE)=GOOD THING.

But CELEBRATING rejection, as if rejection should be the end in itself?!... NO! That's when dreams die.

10 Comments
Aimee
7/28/2015 03:10:06 am

Expecting failure and rejection, sure. It's a tough business. You're buffeted by the whims of the market and every agent and acquiring editor you come in contact with.

Accepting failure and rejection, sure. It's a tough business. I have a friend who was rejected over 400 times before she found her first agent. Had she not accepted failure 400+ times she wouldn't have gotten to the first acceptance.

Celebrating rejection? Maybe not. I started typing with a definite not in mind but then I remembered that sometimes the no comes with a specific reason, something you can work on and change, a way you can grow and make the manuscript better. Celebrating the no those instances seems less the celebration of failure and more in being given the opportunity and means to overcome the failure - like being failed on a car inspection. That's provisional. You fix it, you're accepted.

Those kinds of rejections I can see celebrating because they've given you the means to improve. That person has seen enough in you to reach out a hand up and pay it forward.



Reply
Susie link
7/28/2015 03:18:42 am

Hi Aimee, thanks for stopping by. Maybe I should have been more clear--I don't think aspiring authors shouldn't expect failure--or rejection--at all (that would be nuts!) I just don't think they should accept failure or rejection as the final result.

Reply
gaye mack link
7/28/2015 06:34:17 am

Susie--I'm with you...I do not celebrate rejection. It's hard period. I do think that with more experience our reaction to rejection can and does change(at least it has for me)...it still hurts but the time doesn't seem to be so drawn out...its the nature of the business and a lot of times it fires me to a greater intensity to prove a rejection WRONG somewhere down the road...there are just SO MANY variables 'behind the rejection curtain' we never see, much less know about whether it's agents, publishers, even editors...it does take perseverance!

Reply
Susie link
7/28/2015 07:56:20 am

Gaye, yes, I agree with you too. I think it **can** be easier to accept rejection over time. And you are so right--there are so many reasons for rejection--and which may have nothing to do with the quality of a person's work at all. More experienced writers come to learn this as well (even though it may still hurt!)

Reply
Lorraine Devon Wilke link
7/30/2015 01:40:21 am

I, too, am a big believer in positive thinking, optimism, framing your thoughts in ways that encourage and energize good outcomes, but, dammit, sometimes the kick in the gut of yet another rejection letter deserves nothing but a good cry, a stomping power walk up your least favorite hill, a short-lived tantrum about "this sucky industry," or even, however briefly, a declaration to just "dump the whole thing!" Then you process out those emotions, watch some bad TV, and and get back to it.

OF COURSE everything's a learning experience, and we'd be good to glean whatever education we can from the things that happen to us, good or less so, but to deny normal human emotions like sadness, hurt, rejection, anger, feeling left out, ignored, or overlooked, is to ignore our own humanity. And what creative person would ever think THAT was a good idea?!

Reply
Susie link
8/3/2015 05:56:08 am

yes, Lorraine well put. I'm also someone who has a positive outlook; but I think we should acknowledge that we are human and that we are allowed to feel bad if something crummy happens. And you're right--creativity and humanity go hand in hand! Thanks for stopping by!

Reply
bekerys
7/31/2015 04:06:04 am

I get the urge to take the sting out of a rejection and do a reverse-psychology kinda thing by celebrating, which downplays the importance of the rejection, rather than getting upset, however....
I agree with you, Susie. Rejection whether of your manuscript or job application or bid for promotion at work, is not a cause for celebration. I think it is a time for examining what caused the rejection, moving to correct/change it, and moving forward to try try again. That said, by all means invite your friends and family to join you in publishers/companies/boss bashing at your earliest convenience. It is therapeutic!

Reply
Susie link
8/3/2015 05:58:55 am

Bekery--right! boss and job bashing= therapy! :-)

Reply
patricia
7/27/2016 07:14:53 am

(((robinson.buckler @ yahoo. com))) … restored my relationship and my boyfriend came back to me……………………………………………………..

Reply
Anonymous
7/30/2016 03:21:53 am

(((robinson.buckler @ yahoo .com))) … restored my relationship and my boyfriend came back to me…………………………………

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Susanna Calkins

    Historian. Mystery writer. Researcher. Teacher.  Occasional blogger.

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    1660s
    16th Century
    17th Century
    18th Century
    1910s
    1920s
    19th C.
    20th Century
    21st Century
    A Death Along The River Fleet
    Advertisements
    Alcohol
    Alpha Reader
    Amazon Pre Order
    Amazon Pre-order
    A Murder At Rosamund's Gate
    Anagrams
    Anne Perry
    Anthology
    Art
    Authorship
    Award
    Awards
    Blogger's Block
    Blogging
    Blog Hop
    Blog Tour
    Bloody Good Read
    Bombings
    Book Events
    Book Giveaway
    Booksellers
    Book Trade
    Bouchercon
    Calendars
    Card Playing
    Caricature
    Cats
    Chambermaid
    Characters
    Charles I
    Charles Ii
    Charles Todd
    Chicago
    Chocolate
    Christmas
    Cia
    Cockney Slang
    Cocktails
    Coffee
    Coincidence
    Contemporary
    Cover Design
    Covers
    Creativity
    Crime
    Criminals
    Critical Thinking
    Cromwell
    Crossroads
    Csikszentmihalyi
    Cuckold
    Curiosities
    Defoe
    Detectives
    Detectives Oath
    Disease
    Dogs
    Early Modern
    Easter
    Editing
    Edwardian England
    Etymology
    Examples
    Excerpt Marg
    Excerpts
    Fairs
    Fate Of A Flapper
    Feedback
    Female Protagonists
    Female Sleuths
    Fire Of London
    Flow
    Food
    Forensics
    Forms Of Address
    French History
    From The Charred Remains
    Ftcr
    Future
    Games
    Gangs
    Giveaways
    Golden Hind
    Great Fire
    Great War
    Grit
    Guest Blogs
    Guest Interviews
    Guest Post
    Guest Posts
    Guilds
    Hanging
    Historical Fiction
    Historical Mysteries
    History
    Imagination
    Inspiration
    Interviews
    Ireland
    ITW Authors
    Jests
    Jewelry
    Language
    Last Dying Speeches
    Leisure
    Libraries
    London Bridge
    Lucy Campion
    Macavity
    Magistrate
    Malice Domestic
    Maps
    MARG
    Markets
    Masque Of A Murderer
    Matg
    Medicine
    Medieval
    Medieval Period
    Memory
    Merriments
    Merry-making
    Methodists
    Midwives
    Mindset
    Miscellany
    Monsters
    Moonstone
    Motivation
    Murder
    Murder At Rosamund's Gate
    Murder Ballad
    Murder Knocks Twice
    Mysteries
    Mystery
    Mystery Tv Shows
    Newgate
    Newspapers
    New Woman
    Nietzsche
    Nursery Rhymes
    Opera
    Orwell
    Persistence
    Pets
    Philadelphia
    Piracy
    Pirates
    Plagiarism
    Plague
    Poison
    Popular Film
    Popular Press
    Potions
    Printers Row Lit Fest
    Printing
    Private Investigators
    Proactive Interference
    Procrastination
    Prohibition
    Promoting Books
    Pseudonyms
    Psychology
    Publication
    Public Executions
    Publishing
    Punishments
    Puritans
    Puzzles
    Quakers
    Radio Shows
    Reader Questions
    Reading
    Receipts
    Reformation
    Rejection
    Religion
    Research
    Restoration
    Riddles
    River Fleet
    Samuel Pepys
    Scene Development
    Science Fiction
    Scold's Bridle
    Secret London
    Setting
    Seven Things
    Shakespeare
    Short Story
    Sign Of The Gallows
    Sleuths In Time
    Smithfield
    Speakeasy Mysteries
    Speech
    Spying
    Strange Things
    Teaching
    Thank You
    The 1640s
    The 1650s
    The 1660s
    Theater
    Thief-taker
    Timeline
    Titles
    Travel
    True Crime
    Tyburn Tree
    Valentine
    Wilkie Collins
    Winchester Palace
    Witches
    Women
    World-building
    Writier's Life
    Writing
    Writing Prompts
    Young Adult

    Archives

    February 2021
    January 2020
    December 2019
    August 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    September 2018
    November 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    November 2016
    September 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011

    RSS Feed

  • Home
  • Lucy Campion Mysteries
    • A Murder at Rosamund's Gate
    • From the Charred Remains
    • The Masque of a Murderer
    • A Death Along the River Fleet
    • The Sign of the Gallows
    • The Cry of the Hangman
    • Death Among the Ruins
  • The Speakeasy Murders
    • Murder Knocks Twice
    • The Fate of a Flapper
  • Short Stories
  • Blog
  • News & Events
    • Event Photos
    • Archived Guest Posts & Interviews
  • The Roaring Twenties
  • 17th c. England
  • Writing Resources
  • Nonfiction
  • New Page